How to Trust Yourself When You’re Always Looking for Clarity

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Learning how to trust yourself starts with making room to hear what you think, feel, and want before reaching for someone else’s answer. That might mean pausing before asking for advice, noticing what’s happening in your body, or getting curious about a belief that makes your own perspective feel less trustworthy. When you’re used to seeking reassurance outside yourself, that pause can give you an opportunity to recognize a preference or desire you’ve been talking yourself out of.

I know that pattern because I lived it. I spent years looking to other people for guidance and validation that I was enough. On paper, things looked great. Inside, something felt off, especially in my career. I had this feeling that I was meant for more, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what that meant or how to access it. That’s part of why I’m approaching this next chapter of Her Unlocked with such intention. I want our time together to help you build a stronger connection with yourself and begin trusting what you hear.

Why outside validation can make clarity harder to find

There is a difference between receiving support and relying on someone else to confirm that your desires are valid. For me, the belief underneath the search for answers was that I wasn’t enough. I had wonderful parents and a beautiful childhood, yet that belief still shaped the way I moved through the world. It influenced how much weight I gave other people’s guidance and how often I looked outside myself for permission. Until I began exploring that pattern, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me.

You might recognize your own version of this. Maybe you feel drawn toward a different direction in your business, but you immediately start gathering opinions about whether it makes sense. Maybe you know you want more space in your life, then dismiss that desire because someone else seems able to handle more. Asking for perspective can be helpful. The question is what happens to your own perspective once everyone else’s enters the conversation. Do you have room to consider it, or does it disappear beneath the need to get approval?

For me, looking within also meant paying attention to what I felt God was inviting me toward. I had become so practiced at listening to other people that I wasn’t giving myself space to recognize that guidance. Reconnecting with myself helped me see how much of my searching was tied to the belief that I needed someone else to validate what I already felt.

When needing more clarity becomes a reason to wait

One of the things I hear often is, “I just need more clarity before I can take the next step.” Sometimes a decision really does require more information. But I also invite you to consider whether there’s something you already know that you’re having trouble accessing or acknowledging. You may feel a pull toward a particular direction while carrying so many expectations, opinions, and internal questions that it becomes difficult to hear it clearly.

That was my experience. I could feel that something was missing, but I kept looking outside myself to figure out what it was. As I began working with the beliefs underneath that pattern, I started recognizing more of what I wanted and the calling I felt in my life. The curiosity shifted from simply asking what I should do to noticing what made it difficult to trust my own answer.

If you’re in that place, give yourself a moment to ask: What keeps coming back when I stop trying to find the perfect answer? What do I want that I tend to explain away? Whose approval am I waiting for? You don’t have to force a conclusion. These questions create space to notice whether your uncertainty includes a desire that hasn’t had much room to be heard.

A simple practice for reconnecting with yourself

In this episode, I guide you through a short grounding practice before we continue the conversation. You can explore a version of it here, too. Choose a moment when you aren’t driving and can comfortably give yourself a little attention. Keep your eyes open, soften your gaze, or close them if that feels comfortable. Take a couple of easy breaths and begin noticing your body, moving your attention from your head and jaw through your shoulders, chest, stomach, legs, and feet.

As you notice each area, get curious about what is present. There might be tension, a sense of heaviness, warmth, or very little sensation at all. If you find an area that feels tense, you can gently bring your attention and breath there without trying to make anything happen. Then notice whether anything feels different. Perhaps there’s a little more space or calm. Perhaps you simply become aware of something you hadn’t noticed before. There’s no right response to produce.

The invitation is to give yourself a moment of attention before moving on to the next thing. When you return to your day, consider what stood out and whether there’s anything you want to stay curious about. This is the kind of pause I want to build into Her Unlocked: a chance to check in with yourself and carry what you notice into the conversation that follows.

Building self-connection across your life and business

Self-trust can show up differently depending on the area of life you’re exploring. You might feel clear in your work and unsure in your relationship. You might know what you want for your family while struggling to acknowledge your desires around money, fun, or capacity. That’s why the podcast will move through different monthly themes, with room for stories, questions, reflection, and experiences that help you develop a stronger connection with yourself in each area.

An upcoming money focus is one example. As business owners, we can carry assumptions about the holiday season before it even begins. We may expect people to stop investing because they’re spending on their families, or assume there won’t be enough time for our businesses in November and December. Those expectations can influence what we make available and what we believe we have capacity to hold. I want us to get curious about those beliefs and explore our own experiences with them.

Getting vulnerable with yourself is part of this process. That can mean admitting what you want, recognizing a familiar pattern, or noticing that an explanation you’ve repeated for years doesn’t tell the whole story. My hope is that each episode gives you space to explore those things without feeling pressured to arrive with an answer or leave with another long list of tasks.

Bringing embodied coaching into the way you support others

I’m also bringing back the Becoming Her series, with conversations featuring women who have experienced this work as clients or students of the Unlock Institute of Embodied Coaching. I want you to hear their stories and explore how they’re bringing what they’ve learned into their lives and businesses. These conversations will offer another perspective on the work and the ripple it can create when women begin supporting others from what they’ve experienced themselves.

If you’re a coach, consultant, or practitioner who wants to explore this approach more deeply, the Institute offers training that integrates conscious coaching, subconscious reprogramming, and embodied transformation. You can explore the Unlock Institute of Embodied Coaching here and learn more about its coaching certification pathways.

Her Unlocked is an invitation to begin that conversation with yourself. Take a breath, notice what’s present, and give yourself room to hear what comes forward. You don’t have to resolve every question today. You can begin by recognizing what you’ve been seeking permission to acknowledge.

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